Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Story-A-Day #12: Embraced


EMBRACED

She shivered slightly, embalmed in a cool November fog that had grown thicker as the day transitioned into night. Traffic passed her; cars, trucks and taxis gliding wetly along the busy street. Behind her, the hospital loomed, and a little further down the hill, the city itself.


It was a dark night, but she wasn’t afraid. Even standing alone at the bus stop surrounded by the swirling mists. It was actually kind of soothing, like a cool, wet embrace from a familiar friend.


She glanced at her watch. 9:30.


It was still early. She sighed and looked back in the direction she had walked from, towards her classmate’s apartment. They were in college together and he had finally invited her over to hang out.


She wasn’t sure what she had expected. They had been flirting playfully, seemingly since the first day of school, and he had finally asked her out. She had agreed, a little too quickly perhaps, and when their last class let out, they jumped on a bus and headed down to his place.


He didn’t know what she had expected; maybe a movie? She figured it would be a good opportunity to get to know him a little better. They entered the apartment and he awkwardly took her coat. The hairs on her neck bristled as his fingers brushed across her collar.


For a minute, she actually hoped they might make out a bit. Not all the way or anything, but something kind of high school. When he offered her the beer she blushed, sure that he could read the thoughts on her face.


An hour later, she was at the bus stop. She was by herself and she had barely been acknowledged on her way out.


When the group of guys arrived, she had been a little surprised. When her date had quickly turned on his video game system, she had been dismayed. Now, she was standing in the cool embrace of a foggy autumn evening and feeling a little foolish. Boys were all the same, really, and she should have known better.


The bus pulled up with a hiss of pneumatics and she climbed the shallow steps, flashing her pass to the driver on the way by. As she made her way towards a vacant seat near the back of the bus, she noticed a familiar face, another guy from school. He smiled at her as she slid into the seat next to him and she smiled back. The bus lurched out into the traffic.

1 comment:

  1. Nicely Crafted. The beginning of the story brings a feeling of ominous portent, and the descriptive detail provides an avenue for the reader to actually experience the evening first hand. Maybe she could have become a bit more than "dismayed" though? The ease with which she slips back into the "dating" role isn't really noticed, since she hadn't really had a strong reaction to the scene in the apartment.

    keep 'em coming Mike! I really admire and enjoy the project!
    Tobel

    ReplyDelete